A Hypocrite’s Hope (Isaiah 42:16)

I’ve been walking through
The ruins of my life
Longing desperately
To be only a tourist
I’ve searched high and low
For answers I don’t know
And become quite blind
In the process.

Lacking integrity and understanding
I trudge on
My thoughts weighing more
Than my burdens
Many times life is my enemy,
My despair
My pain is deeper
And stronger than my faith
How I need to surrender
To the hope of the Lord.

Lying down
The darkness seems to be
My safe haven
At least here
Midst the walls of loneliness
No one can question
The holes in my faith
Or the absence of my patience.
Far from Heaven
And the King’s Throne
I ponder yet again
If I’ll ever make it there.

When I look upon the face of Love
I’ll wonder what purposes served
To cause my self-hatred
And all the pity I thought I deserved.

At long last
I’ll betray my laments awhile
And open God’s Holy Testaments,
Find some advice
That will offer rest and peace,
Maybe a smile
And pray His desires
Into my life.
I’ll beg His forgiveness
Knowing He will never forsake me.

Before the dawn
Yields its first light
His Spirit will take control
Of my flight
And drive the night
And all its darkness from me
I’ll no longer walk crooked
Like a drunken man
Unwise to the evils
He is withholden to
But by the hand of God
I will persevere
Down the narrow, straight path
(In spite of not knowing the way)
Finally understanding
The meaning of faith
In its fullest of forms
Until the much longed for day
I am led right into
The arms of the Lord
Resigned to joy evermore.