The Gloaming (Short Story Version- Part II)

Part II: Noonday Strivings

Whatever hope I found lying alongside the road earlier today is beginning to dissipate in the heat of the noonday sun and the scorn of passersby. Though not an unfamiliar experience, I am the subject of their inquisitive stares with their eyes expressing unvoiced questions of: “Will he make it? Will he amount to more than what we have seen? Must we ask the questions we already know the answers to?! He is everything we do not want to be. Even he doesn’t know where he is going.” I am not unfeeling to their harsh curiosity, still my pace becomes more frenetic and intense with every step as every stare offers anything but clemency. I could not stop now to rest even if I wanted to, for their judgments and my need would prevent such a respite. My strength is waning, but I have little choice than to journey on. Surely the next town will hold something of promise. It must as my rations are now beyond meager. I should have planned more carefully. I should have done many things better.

The descent of the sun has seemed faster than usual. Of course, I have not consistently given such a ritual my undivided attention as I have been otherwise occupied by constant pain and agony. Nonetheless, the sun is leaving, along with my hopes, but not my need. I will travel a little longer but not at night as the winds and confusion are increasing. It is dangerous enough to be alone at home during the darkened hours much less journeying down an unfamiliar path. What if I miss a turn or cannot finish the course? What if my hope is again disappointed? My standards have failed me, or maybe more correctly, I have failed them.  I don’t know how long I can continue, only that I must try to for at least one more step. I have come too far and known too long that I am not everything I need. I have contemplated the answers even while being afraid of the questions. I have come to the end of my ability to give adequate directions. So this new path must be trod to find help other than my own, to see something I have never before seen- a hope fulfilled…