The Incandescent Beckoning

[This is one of my all-time favorites among my writing and I felt was a significant step forward in my progression as a writer due to the depth of the topic and pacing of the rhyming. For the most part I have followed this style for all poetry I have written since.]

Midnight awakens
And my thoughts hasten
To things I cannot see.

There is little light before my eyes,
The rays of the moon
And a glimmering of the stars,
As a Candle
Searches my heart.

Every curtain
Of every room
Is unveiled.

What is certain,
What is presumed,
All is revealed

As time catches its breath
And I lose mine,

Thinking of you.

With a soul
Thirsty for good news
From a far off land,
I am wanting to hear
Something other than
Your message of silence
To this longing man.

My memories
Have overcome my mind
This night.

Your eyes,
Ever full of life,
Save when they sold their soul
To the whims of cynicism.

The entrance of your laugh
Into my life
Introduced my heart to you;
Though I have known
No greater scorn
Than that of your wrath.

And I am wondering once more
How the mouth
Of one so determined
To fend off all doubts
In all of their forms,
(About your dreams, yourself,
And all other secret ponderings
That were your insecurities,)
Could be so contemptuous
When it was created to be so melodious.

But I am not in pursuit
Of any one of your faults,
And I have seen truth
Cannot be masked
Behind your flaws,

I want you
One and all.

For this is what I have asked
The One
Who made you.

In the midst of the nightmare
That is your absence,
I cannot prevent
My heart from wanting to share
What I hold inside,
What I defend;
Circumventing my fears
Even as the months
Grew in pride
And became years.

I have wrestled
In the darkness
Beyond the view
Of your eyes of blue
That I am sure
Yet stir jealousy
Among the oceans.

My secret thoughts, nestled
Between the sighing
Of my heart’s brokenness
And all it knows to be true;
That despite your efforts
To forget me so zealously,
I am more to your life
Than but a moment’s mention.

And you are more than a shadow,
You are beyond this earth’s beauty
And worth more
Than you even know;
Even more than my words
Will permit me.

There has been a silence in me
That will not remain quiet;
A pain that has often made me numb.
There has been a questioning
Of the ways of wisdom,
Even to the point of riot
Among the steps I have trod.

But no violence for you is found in me
No, not anywhere in my heart,
The longsuffering of my longing
Has not strained it
To the point of ruin
Amidst my intentions
Or conversations with God.

Your name
Has not fell into ill repute
With me.
You have not become
A synonym of shame;
As something from which I must flee.

I am no longer
In dispute
Over the length of my wait.
My hope fulfilled
Is the degeneration of my pain,
Forbidding any abode for hate or misery.

My imperfections
Were stronger than your intentions.
The mistakes and failures
That led to my faith’s defections
Are indeed too numerous to mention.

But there is One
Who has provided direction
Beyond the poverty of my sight.

Together we have traveled
Through the night
I never wanted to see
Down a path
Once made crooked
That has since been straightened

My hopes once unraveled:
How my arms were so broken
By your words
As they reached for you
So hastily;
But now find themselves strengthened.

And despite the distance
That was between us
I have never
Found myself completely forsaken.

So will you whisper my name
Once more
For all the world to hear?

Will You beg His strength
To bring you near
To me?

For I am not what I once was,
What you feared
I would always be.

Will you allow
That for which I have been avouched?

Countless thoughts,
Millions of words,
Endless prayers,
All faithfully
Share you.

My mind,
My mouth,
My heart,
Everything that is me,
Cares for you.

My heart will not hide
From you any longer.
I am not one for you to chide
But an ally
In your quest
Of all the ways of truth
Of which you desire
To become stronger.

So go ahead
Take a look inside
And see that which was lacking.

For there is no more dread
From which to hide

I am yours for the asking.

I want to hold your face
In my eyes
To see the grace
That has been bestowed
To your life.

I will keep you close
No matter the place
And my debt
Will ever be owed
To the One
Whose heart
Dreamed of you
Before mine.

So let us bid
A grand revealing
To this great day of reckoning.

Let us ever welcome
The arms of love
To finish His undertaking.

For the collision
Of our hearts
Is not the place for indecision,
The chance for abandoning,
But truth’s answer
To the incandescent beckoning.